Oh wait. I still don’t have my pictures from Chicago because I do believe CVS lost them. They told me to check back tomorrow…even though they were supposed to be in on Friday. This, my friends, is why we just stick to the wonderful thing called the digital camera. I did not want to take my camera to Chicago though…it could have gotten stolen like other peoples things were.
Anyway. I will eventually share about my Chicago trip…hopefully it will be accompanied by pictures!
I thought that I would clarify that little slogan in case any of you did not know that. I am going to write about what happened when I get the picture cd made. But for today I am going to share some thoughts that were provoked as a result of this trip.
Sometimes we need to be removed from our everyday happenings to see what is really going on in our lives. In many instances, we get used to what we always are doing. You get used to people you talk to, ways you do things, and what it is that you are doing. I have come to see that I do not need some of the relationships that have fallen apart; even though when they did, I thought that I would never move on. I really am stronger than I let myself be.
So go to Chicago and get out of your unhealthy ruts.
This has taken WAY to long.
Going from this…
To this…
It just seems like it has taken such a long time. I do not want to wish my life away though. I know I will probably look back at these years and wish I could be in this place again. But for now, I am looking forward to my future and very excited for what God has in store for me. I am so excited about heading to the University of Mobile this fall. I already have people talking to me, a mentor, and exciting opportunities that lie ahead of me. Attaining a major in music education is something I have wanted to do for a long time. Hopefully it will stay that way or God will get me just as excited for whatever it is that I am not seeing that I need to do right now. Also, I am contemplating a minor in theology. I am looking forward to finding the man that God has for me and getting married. I have always been the “nurturing” type…so OF COURSE I am looking forward to having kids! Two preferably. David Harrison and Savannah Grace. Again, that can change. I wonder if I will move around a lot as I did, or if we will settle down in a nice little town for the rest of our lives. Will I be back in Huntsville?
I am excited and curious about my future…but not worried. There is no sense in being worried about what is not in my control. But for now, I am going to take in what is going on today (disecting a sheep’s eye in physics (EW!), getting our nationals music ready in choir (yay! music!), learning about economics (boooring), buying a dress for my brother’s graduation from UAB (yay! shopping!), hanging out with my mom while shopping (yay! girl time!), going to the gym (yay! health!), and probably some homework (yay? learning?).
The only thing I am truly anxious for right now is for allergy season to be over!
I Woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can’t explain
like a weight that I’ve carried
Been carried away, away
But I know something is coming
I don’t know what it is
But I know it’s amazing, you save me
My time is coming
And I’ll find my way out of this longest drought…
It feels like today I know
It feels like today I’m sure
It’s the one thing that’s missin’
The one thing I’m wishin’
Life’s sacred blessin’ and then
It feels like today
Feels like today
-Rascal Flatts
This song popped into my head just now and a whole flood of thoughts came along with it. Hopefully I can sift through them and make some sense of it. Maybe it will be something profound..ha.
“Feels Like Today” is a secular song but there is so much to take from it. [I do not know the story behind it so what I have to say may have nothing to do with what it is actually about; that's the beauty of poetry and music.]
We all go through times when we just feel “down.” Some take it out on other people, some mask it, and some turn to not so healthy things. Everyone deals with their emotions differently, but we have the commonality of encountering such feeling. Luckily, we as Christians have that sense of hope. A sure hope.
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Romans 8:24-25
I find it quite amazing that we do not have to carry the weight of anything.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 28:11-30
It is very tough for me to (get ready for the cliche…) “let go and let God.” I have every opportunity to let what is weighing me down go. But no. April has a better way. WHAT?! Yeah, I just said that. I would not say that if I were talking to someone and seriously mean it, yet in all reality, that is what I am saying to God. My timing is perfect. What I want is best for me. My goodness, that looks so ugly, selfish, and prideful in black and white! I am 14 days away from being 18. My 80-year-old Pawpaw doesn’t even know it all. Why do I think I do? Well, I know I do not. It is just that it is so much easier floating through life doing what seems to work or is the most comfortable at the time.
I love this feeling of hope I have in Jesus. It feels like today will be the day that I just let it all go and move on into this next chapter of life knowing who He is and who I am in Him. I have been under such great teaching over the past few months at Providence. I feel like I am really getting to know my Father and building such a great relationship. It is not about me. It is about knowing how sovereign my Lord and Savior is and taking time to be still in Him. There is a time and place for everything.
I am leaving in a little less than two weeks for my choir trip to Chicago!! Please pray for safe travel, healthy voices, and above all else for me to glorify God even through this trip! Thank you!
It is so easy to say something, but a whole different story when it comes to following it.
If only I would listen to the whispers things would be so much easier.
I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.
Oh plunge me deep in love – put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
~Sarah Teasdale
This poem has been put to music and our choir is working on this piece. When we first received this piece, I, being the wonderful musician I am (haha), was busy paying attention to the intricate details of the work’s musicality. Finally, after a couple days of working on it I really paid attention to the text.
You see, I am seventeen years old. I have so much ahead of me. Beyond getting through the rest of this year and all it has to bring, I am going to start seeing who the “real me” truly is. I need to know my own self before I can fully be anyone elses.
So who am I?
I am April, and I was born in May. I love singing, playing the piano, acting, dancing, (not good at it, but it doesn’t mean I can’t love doing it anyway) being with friends, enjoying these last few months of being at home, the fact I was born in Texas, and doing things for others. A day without laughter is not a good day. My personality is a blue, ISFJ, golden retriever. I am lighthearted and optimistic. I hate conflict. I like having long conversations with people, the kind that really brings your relationship closer. May 20th cannot come soon enough (graduation). I am looking forward to getting married and having a family.
More so than who I am to others, I am so much more because I am someone’s. I am someones who is much more than anyone else. Right now I need to cling who I am in Christ and not worry about anything else. I am not out on my own yet. I am not getting married tomorrow. Before I am pulled and twisted out in the real world, I need to KNOW what I believe and KNOW how I feel on certain issues and KNOW what my goals are. The only one that will pull me completely in the right direction is God. I don’t think I am quite wise enough yet to be able to see from the beginning how people will affect me. Actually, I don’t think anyone is ever able to see that. But God does give us hints and direction on such things.
I just realized it has almost been two months since I have said anything on here! There is a lot of catching up to do!
It is my last semester of high school! I am determined to not let “senioritis” get to me. I am taking physics…which is very interesting. I can’t say I am very good at it, but I am doing well in the class. Government and economics are both on my schedule as well. Its not what I thought it was. My perception was one of this class being an easy “A”. Well, it is…if you don’t have the teacher that I ended up with. It doesn’t matter though. It will keep me on my toes and from slacking off! Those classes wrap up the credits I need to graduate. I could have gone half days this semester and worked or even taken a college class, but I thought of that too late. So, I decided to take both choir classes that are available to me. I am going to, well of course it could change, be majoring in music education, so I am eager to learn all that I can.
In choir we just wrapped up our third annual Madrigal Dinner. This year I was the student director, had a small roll in the masque (the play), sang in two ensembles, and of course, sang in the choir. I, for the past few weeks, had put a lot of time, effort, and organization in the play. It turned out well, as usual, and was worth every second I contributed to its betterment.
I am more than ready for spring break. I will be out of school the Thursday and Friday before for my FOURTH All State Choir. You would think they would give you some kind of scholarship for doing that… (I have been doing SO many scholarship essays lately…ugh!!) That will start off my spring break well. After the concert I will be heading down to Mobile to visit with some friends. I am SUPER excited about that. Our breaks do not coincide so I will spend the week with both grandparents in Pensacola and my parents will be coming down that Friday night so we can spend Easter together as one big family.
That is all I have got for now. I will try to be better about blogging and not leave you all hanging for two months this time 
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
James 3:9-12
The tongue. That awful thing that is so hard to get control of. How many times have I said something and wish it had never even come to mind. We will be judged for everything we say, even those “just kidding” moments. Why do we think we have to say anything in the first place knowing it could potentially be hurtful? To get attention? To sound smart? We can be so ignorant at times act like we know everything about a situation when we don’t even understand half of it. Why is it so important for our opinion to be known? It could really hurt someone and most of the time you don’t even think through what was said. Even in those times of confiding in someone, we should really watch what we say. God is our number one confidant. You don’t have to vent everything to someone when a situation could be misconstrued because there is always “two sides” to a story. So, how can we do such things and then give our highest praise to God? James says it doesn’t work that way.
In James 3, it talks about how a whole massive ship is led by a small rudder and horses by a bit in their mouth; it is the same for us with the tongue. I can seem like an awesome person with my actions and such but I could say two words and ruin my whole reputation! So why do we talk so much?
I am half way through my senior year!! It feels sooooo good! Now I get to go to work and it is payday. Ah. Life is good.
Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
And to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!
O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.
That is all.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
